Sometimes I think I am a basically a sadist. This thought struck me today as I spent the whole day with my son - playing, cooking, laughing, shouting. Yes, it can be tiring and difficult. Specially the tantrums and endless fights over eating his food and god when he makes me run behind him to catch him, he really makes my screaming lungs and creaking knees realise their age! But at the end of the day, no matter how badly I scolded him or how much he exasperated me, he forgets everything and holds me close and tells me he loves me as he drifts of to sleep. At that time, every second of every minute spent with him in any manner whatsoever seems completely worth it.
When I compare that with my job, no matter how much time, energy, effort , sweat and heartburn goes into it, there may be some people who appreciate you but there will always be people who criticise you and find some crazy personal agenda in the most public welfare oriented works. Yet, each day I sacrifice the time I could spend with my son for a sometimes thankless job.. that sure enough, should place me in that category.. I don't know why.. I hope that at least he finds it in him to understand when he grows up..
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