'New Experiences' : too many for a day!

Random day at work..

   You're are referred back a matter which you have already half opined on and half its out of your jurisdiction / control to opine on. With directions to get technical experts' view on it. So you write a letter to the powers that control those technical experts. Felt normal. Felt right. But what do you get in return? A deeply offended said power that be for looping self into a possibly tricky decision making scene, looking to steer clear of this altogether!

   5 locations. Lunch. Reaches late at 1 venue. The reaction - you would think that these people haven't eaten for days! Breaking lines, fighting with each other, abusing organisers to their face.. I mean, lunch reached. It reached 2 hours late, but it reached. And of course, the ubiquitous cellphone was readily available to catch all the drama and have it circulated everywhere.

  A whatsapp group formed, cutting across hierarchies to monitor a grave situation. Point was to communicate and monitor complaints asap for the earliest possible redressal. And then someone wrote someone a letter which someone found demeaning (which I totally did not get) and decided to post it on the group.. and all of a sudden, a simple, official tool for improving efficiencies in the system snowballed and was on the verge of a full blown rebellion with others joining in the chorus of injustice! I am quite certain many of them wouldn't know what the hell they are supporting except that they are yes-sir-ing their boss. Managed to nip it off, but it left me amazed at the kind of day I was having!

   A call from someone claiming to be the relative (close one) of the highest post in the land.. wanting an appointment. They got one. And they wanted to share with me how hot this place has gotten for tourists and how a friend of theirs loaned someone 16 lakhs and now every time he asks for the money back, the loanee starts crying. I seriously dont know what they expected me to do about either of the things!

   

   I think I am missing some more nuggets out, but thats as much as my brain could store for a day I suppose. Shall add a post script if need be later. So thats been one crazy day, with so called new experiences.

Will the home be where the heart is?

   A drive through the meandering hill roads, flanked by these tall trees and their shedded leaves all around, making you feel like you have entered a desi version of Enid Blyton's whispering willows. The drive goes into and past this forest quiet and enters the flat foothills which opens out into a vast fertile plain with fields of golden wheat till the eyes can see..

   Nature never ceases to act as a calming balm for the sore soul.. This little village, at the border of two states, miles and miles away from humankind, away from the politics, away from any sort of interference.. it felt as though it is calling out to me.. 

   I wonder if this can be the post retirement life?  A piece of land, right here, to build a home on, to subsist here from farming this land and to spend the rest of my time working with people who need help and I maybe able to assist.. like the women and kids who keep coming to me every other day, with stories that depress me no end but I have to keep a control over my emotions and then try to find a way to take care of them as best as I can.. 

   I can do that all the time, without the other irritants which have to be catered to today.. that and the lack of any hospital close by would be such a wonderful way to die  - a life lived with meaning and contribution for the lesser privileged, without tests and tubes, passing on like my grandmother did..

Growing up

   Every now and then, my son does something which hits home that he's growing up and hitting milestones out of the park..

   Today, the boy who would NEVER wish guests or people good morning, leave alone wishing people on festivals, the boy who would never reply to a single question asked to him by anyone who's not immediate family, the boy who would cry if I made him go and play with other kids when we visit other people's homes stunned me. 

   I really wasnt wanting him to come along because in addition to all the social awkwardness from the above behaviour, he would also go to someone's place and throw a fit if he didn't get anything to eat! But he insisted so I let him tag along.. and oh my! never had I met that well-behaved child before who did everything we have been asking him to do for years - wishing others, touching their feet for blessings, replying to the questions he's asked and most surprisingly, obeying the commands of a 2 year old who wanted him to play with him! 

   My little rebel baby, who rebelled more out of fear of the unknown than anything else, is now grown up enough to feel comfortable around strangers he's meeting for the first or second time.. and interact in a socially meaningful way.. 

   You have suddenly become more articulate, more patient and more caring than I have seen you in all these years.. So proud of you for making this change in yourself my son, in your own way, at your own pace. 

Lies, damned lies and politics!

   I dont know when I will get used to people around me lying. Even after all these years, it catches me by complete surprise to find that someone is complaining about me saying that I did or said the  very opposite of what I actually did say or do. The heights of this naiveté is that it surprises  me so even when this is done by a politician!

   Today was one such bizarre day! The guy calls in the morning (10 am) asking me when I will be in office. I tell him I am available around 12. He tells me some issue with a village and how his guys got left out of the talks those villagers had with the administration a day ago. I tell him to give me the contact of those guys . He says he will send them to me. He asks if he needs to come. I say that he does not 'need' to come, we will talk to those guys. He agrees very cordially and we end the conversation - I describe this with this authority because I have the call recording!

   Next thing I know is the guy is sitting on the road with 200 people objecting to a lifeline project for the city. When our people go to talk to him, he tells them and everyone else listening that he is forced to do this because I have refused to meet him!!!! 

   I am totally stumped and fuming at this blatant lie! But maybe, now that I think about it, lying really isn't a big deal for people any more is it? Relations based on trust, personal or professional, are easily subverted or compromised to attain any other immediate goal, without thinking of its long term consequences.. 

   Tomorrow I may have to meet him.. I had reserved choicest words for him.. But now I am thinking, whats the point of wasting my health on him by hyperventilating. He is but a reflection of the state of affairs today.. Maybe the best response to his behaviour would be to greet him with a zen like stoic-ness, without letting his shenanigans get the better of me? Easier said than done though!

City Transport : Chasing mirages

   At first I was just trying to push it through as it was the 3rd tender in almost 2 years. I felt so close to finalising it , like just one step away! I could almost see the paper work in its final stage with just 2 signatures pending. But I have now hit a roadblock. And Im really annoyed. Now standing at this roadblock, even though its making me fume, its also making me think of better ways to model this. 

  Its interesting that when I go online, almost all research like literature available speaks of the lack of a mature reliable concession agreement for this activity despite its ample scope for PPPs.

  Immediately I am reminded of a document we drafted in education for PPP. Two months of intensive time and energy we poured into it, drafting each and every word ourselves, despite the option of outsourcing this to a consultant.. How proud I was of that piece of work.. only to be shelved because of political compulsions.. 

  Anyhow, that and those days are way behind me now.. Looking ahead, I hope to be able to find time to read and understand this sector a bit better and come up with a model that is a balance of doable, quick and sustainable, even if not absolutely ideal. 

Aim: Get at least some routes running before Diwali.

Jhadol-Kotda 26th Feb 2019

   Each visit brings with it something new.. there is so much to fix, but so little to do it with. I dont know if i have become more cynical and impatient than before or are things really worse here than elsewhere..

how do over 101 families in one gram panchayat not get grains for years together? How is it that Banking correspondents are taking a cut from pensioners' measly 500 / 750 rs and we dont talk or complain about it? how is it that panchayat level officers/workers take money so openly for something as procedural as Geo-tagging? how is it that any person fools all others into giving him money claiming to be able to get work done which he cannot? how is it an open secret than dealers open their shops for 3 days at a time only? and dont distribute the left outs as carry forwards next month?

1 patwari has charge of 6 GPs ! no E-mitra sits in panchayats like they are supposed to. what is this widespread ignorance? and how can one do anything about it?

Habit of Jotting

  Dad has often said to me that I should be writing my experiences down.. I have always felt that there are more number of people in my line of calling who love to talk about their experiences and themselves than the number of people actually willing to listen!! So I havent paid much heed to him. Even this blog, when I started it, it was about field related stories, but then with time, or rather no-time, it meandered..

   But today, after reading part of the book 'Not Just a Civil Servant', I have gotten a better appreciation for the idea of jotting down chief events.. Sometimes, even we don't realise the magnitude or even if not the magnitude, but the anecdotal value of some of the most interesting and unique experiences we tend to have in the normal course of life!

  While I am realising its value, I am not quite sure that I will be able to keep up with a regular habit in this.. but I hope to at least quit the meandering and be more current in my posts. The tricky part is the disclosure clause, which makes writing things openly difficult.. hope I am able to put things in a way that are decod-able at least for me few years down the line!