I was reading O's Book of Happiness the other day. I had just spent 2 nights and 3 days watching my son in excruciating pain, till the time tests and medicines could provide him a diagnosis and medicines. Each time the kids fall sick and I dont have medicine or science to turn to (since meds werent working), I get this feeling of extreme helplessness and frustration.. And each time that they do get better, their innocent sweet smiles, mischievous twinkle in their eyes return and I feel like all is well with the world again..
In this book I read similar stories of simple things that people find joy in, things which are seemingly disproportionate in their incidence to the importance they find in someone's life - like a swim or like the way a lights out pulls the family together leaving behind a happy memory or realising the pointlessness of things we otherwise took for granted when faced with a life changing disease..
I watched my kids as they dealt with their illnesses.. the elder one, who brought hell down on earth at the mention of an injection until 10 months ago (when he got his last shot), was suddenly grown up and squeezed back his tears, gritting his teeth silently as he got a canola inserted in his arm.. I told him baby its ok to cry, but he refused to let even a drop slip.. later he smiled at me, as if to say, dont worry, im alright. The younger one, too small to talk, but spent two days crying in pain, clinging to us helplessly. Then like sunshine after a storm, on the third day came a toothless smile, and a small jump and run.. he was back on his feet again!
Happiness was that day for me, realising how much their smiles mean to me.. its an addiction.. one you dont want to grow out of.. there is nothing that touches one's soul the way an innocent child's innocent happy smile does.. I spent the whole day watching them and reading.. I know they will grow up very soon and this moment, this day will be lost to me forever.. realising this makes me want to stay like this, surrounded by their smiles, hugs and love, even more..
I watched my kids as they dealt with their illnesses.. the elder one, who brought hell down on earth at the mention of an injection until 10 months ago (when he got his last shot), was suddenly grown up and squeezed back his tears, gritting his teeth silently as he got a canola inserted in his arm.. I told him baby its ok to cry, but he refused to let even a drop slip.. later he smiled at me, as if to say, dont worry, im alright. The younger one, too small to talk, but spent two days crying in pain, clinging to us helplessly. Then like sunshine after a storm, on the third day came a toothless smile, and a small jump and run.. he was back on his feet again!
Happiness was that day for me, realising how much their smiles mean to me.. its an addiction.. one you dont want to grow out of.. there is nothing that touches one's soul the way an innocent child's innocent happy smile does.. I spent the whole day watching them and reading.. I know they will grow up very soon and this moment, this day will be lost to me forever.. realising this makes me want to stay like this, surrounded by their smiles, hugs and love, even more..
No comments:
Post a Comment