Every once in a while, one is shaken out of the feeling of job satisfaction by a strange turn of events. These strange turns have a penchant for appearing particularly during inspections of superiors. Having managed two such inspections well in the recent past, and having worked hard and happy with the results on the issues which were coming up for inspection again, i was quite confident that this one would be smooth sailing too... how terribly wrong I was!!
Its time now to learn that work doesnt always speak for itself. Projection is vital. More than anything else. If you stumble at that moment, all your work is brought to dust. I cant remember when I felt so demoralised last in life.. To be told that all that youve consistently worked for, over the last 4 months is rubbish, and when you yourself dont think so.. its depressing. What can you do other than explain? But what use is explanation that falls on deaf ears?
I dont know.. I dont know how to project.. I like to take people to the site of work, and make them see for themselves rather than explain in words, facts, figures. That has always worked so far.. But this time it didnt and I'm foxed. Dont know where to go from here, what to do next.. Its an awful feeling.. like I let my team down by not being able to put forward their achievements properly..
I wish I could undo yesterday's happenings.. but I cant.. I have to find a way to crawl out of this hole I've fallen into, of depression and self pity.. I have to make myself remember that I do what I do not for accolades (though they wouldnt hurt!!) but for the sake of what is good and what is right. For, cliched as it sounds these days, the people. I have to remember that, hold onto that thought... because if anything can pull me up again ever, it is this thought alone.. to keep my real objective in mind..
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